That is now the most difficult question I and I alone have to answer...
How the hell will I be able to answer that question? I am so so torn...
PROS
If I amputate:
only 2 % chance of recurrence of cancer. no more pain. more mobility. no more bending difficulties. Quicker recovery. (this is going to sound weird) but for being a photographer people who would possibly hire me would remember me if not for my photography but for my leg. they actually have some really awesome real looking prosthetics.
CONS
Its my f*ing leg! its irreversible. Its going to take forever for me to cope. I have a panic attack just thinking about it. people will always stare at me. I will never have the chance to dance like I did before. its above the knee. I have to relearn how to walk.
who really knows the future?? thats the only way I can make the decision and know that its the right one... I am so so scared...
This is the hardest decision I have and will ever have to make and I hate that I am forced to make this decision
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