I wonder what's next...

As my college days come to an end I am constantly wondering what will happen next...

I guess that's the scariest part of change, you have NO idea what will happen...

Will I find a job? Will people like my work? Where am I moving? Will I be successful? Will I be close to Chris wherever he is stationed? Will he be successful? Will he change a lot after being in the army? And if so, for better or for worse? Will people discriminate against me because they think I can't do the work?

These questions are always swimming around in my mind and I don't know how to sift through them...

I should know more than anyone that whatever happens will happen but it doesn't mean I can keep my mind off the what ifs.

I think I need to learn to meditate to keep me less stressed about the future...

I feel like I need to prove myself...I've gone through so much shit I feel like I need to redeem myself in order to make all the suffering I went through worth it...