10 years

What a substantial amount of time...

SO much can happen in 10 years that you cannot even fathom... Just the sheer amount of possibilities there is to come in that amount of time...

I was reminded today of that amount of time that is from a friend that had cancer and limb salvage surgery the same time I did. We don't talk as much as we used to, but I still check out what he is up to from time to time on Facebook.

I was reminded that my bone replacement would be up for another replacement soon... and that made me a little sad... not for missing my leg... but the thought going through all that rehab and pain all over again...

That being said, my friend did a million times better with his replacement than I and I know he will do great things with his new and improved replacement that will now last him 30 years (with the new technology that has come out).

But it still crosses my mind... would that have all been worth it for myself? When I first found out I had cancer again I was so against removing my leg... I didn't want to be disabled... I didn't want to be THAT different... but... would I have even lived to see the 10 year mark of my bone replacement?

Why are we so attached to something that disables you more? To be normal? Life is hard and SO annoying  at times with 1 leg... but what was the alternative? A life of painkillers, pain, limited mobility, and the unnerving possibility of cancer returning/spreading and eventually not living to see where your life was going to take you...

I really deeply thought about it and realized there is no way of knowing who or where I would be right now if I hadn't lost my leg... and that is OK... because the what ifs will just drive you up the wall...

Your life is here and now... and anything that hinders you from living it is not worth your thoughts, time, or effort...