Heart of Gold

My friend Juliana:

Kind hearted, always there for you, awesome friend, awesome wife, awesome mother, great daughter, the strongest person I have ever met.

Although we have never met in person, she is one of my closest friends.

We have known each other through the bad: Cancer, family death, more cancer, new illnesses...

And the good: Graduation, marriage, being engaged, becoming a parent, celebrating our lives after cancer...

And now Jules is seriously sick. How can this happen to such an awesome woman who deserves the world!? I am heartbroken that this is happening to her...

She has gone through more than 5 lifetimes of suffering and it keeps coming...

I think about her and John and Johnny every day and pray that she gets better so that one day she can be as energetic and happy as she was before this illness. So that she can play with her son, so that she can go on a date with her husband, so that she can get her life back...

But somehow she stays strong, if not only for herself but for those around her. She keeps a positive outlook even though the glass may not even be close to half full. She is my inspiration, she is the reason I have a positive outlook on my life, she is the reason I live my life to the fullest. If not for myself then for her.

Love you Jules, you deserve the life of a movie star (Demi Moore not Charlie Sheen haha), You deserve the life that most people take for granted...

Who...A year later...

http://courtneydawnw.blogspot.com/2010/02/who.html

This blog is in reference to a blog I did almost exactly a year ago...

Since then I have done a lot of things in my life...

Soon after I started surfing with Amp Surf, which changed my life so much. I feel like I can do anything.

I cameod on a few TV shows and Movies... Which was something I never expected.

I got to photograph some awesome actors like Kirk Douglas and Harrison Ford.

I met some of the most amazing people at the amputee conference, which was completely humbling.

I graduated with a bachelors from Brooks in Santa Barbara.

I got engaged that same weekend.

My fiancee' went into the army.

I am starting my career and my life....my whole life is ahead of me...

But as a cancer survivor, I will always have those nagging feelings in the back of my head every time I step into the blood lab or radiology...what if this is the day that my life gets flipped upside down...yet again...

But who am I?

I have not felt lost in the past year, and even though there is less of me, I feel whole...

I NEVER imagined my life would be this way, but that's OK...

My life has been harder than most, but I feel like a better human being because of it. And I know that I am stronger for it...

I now ROCK the shorts and find every opportunity to wear them...Stare at me all you want, I am going to stay confident. Even if you ARE rudely gawking...

And I cannot get away from the fact that I am an amputee. People will remember me first as the girl with one leg, then second as anything else. I have been told that I inspire people...somehow I inspire people by just walking through the farmers market...I will never be seen as anything else, but that's OK. Because as crazy as it sounds, if I can help one person in any way feel better about their own lives then it was worth the pain and suffering to get where I am.

So who am I?
I am one year older, I am still a 2x cancer survivor, daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, amputee, photographer, dancer, choreographer, artist, American, Californian, Christian, musician.

I will be forever changed by what has happened to me and now, a year later, I am OK with it because I KNOW I am where I am suppose to be in life.

Would I change my life if I could? No chance in hell. I am happy, and I have been given opportunities I NEVER would have had with 2 legs.



I KNOW EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Courtney Dawn Photography
www.courtneydawnphotography.com