The Ocean...

Courtney Dawn Photography

These past couple months have been pretty rocky and after this weekend I can't believe how much the ocean can heal you.

Physically it can heal your small wounds that have taken a while to fix themselves. The ocean can help you to be more fit, in tern helping you to live longer. The cold ocean may numb the pain you may have from a part of your body that is aching or hurt.

But what about emotionally? I had never been able to REALLY stand up because surfing is hard enough with one leg you can't really stand higher than your opposite hand can reach. And until this weekend I hadn't experienced it. With help from my prosthetist and tweaking after the first failure in June, I was able to have a surf leg on.

Imagine paddling out into this mass of water, watching these waves come at you.

Some times you miss the break and have a fun ride over the waves.

Some times you have to race to keep the wave from breaking right on top of you.

And some times you have no choice but to hang on for dear life and let that wave crash right on you...and in this moment you feel the wave take control...There are times when you are able to hang on to the board and come up and keep paddling. Other times the wave takes control and you lose your board...

My life has been feeling like the latter...

But Saturday, I took that wave head on physically. I made it through, turned around, and with the help of some awesome people I got my wave. It felt like an accomplishment that I didn't know I had been waiting for. And in this physical accomplishment I made an emotional one too. There are no words to describe how I felt as I got off the board, turned around and headed back into those waves...

Out of all the SHIT that happens, good things come out of it. These past 6 years of my life have been crazy and unpredictable and I say it ALL THE TIME but I never thought I would be doing what I am doing with my life let alone STANDING and surfing...

As I headed back into those waves there were a lot of things going through my head...the most important was the overwhelming emotion that I did it...I got over EVERYTHING that has happened to me these years...cancer, death, amputation, heartbreak, frustrations, insecurities...and I just LIVED...

And as I now glide over the break physically and emotionally I know that I will get crashed on again, and I know that I will get thrown off my board, but I also know I will have others to be there for me when I pop my head back up...